THE CENTER PIECE

“THE SIGNS OF THE TIMES”

Obituary

(From Internet Sources)

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. John Common-Sense, who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape; but he will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain -
- Why the early bird gets the worm -
- Life isn't always fair -
- It was my fault -

Brother Common-Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

Sadly, his health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations from government bureaucracies were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common-Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Our friend John lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

His outlook on life took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home; while the burglar could sue you for assault if you did.

He finally reached the end of his rope, and gave up the will to live after Stella Leibeck failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot; and when she spilled a little in her lap, she was promptly awarded a huge settlement (See this space next week).

Common-Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his many stepbrothers and sisters;

I Know My Rights; I Want Them Now;

Someone Else Is To Blame; I'm A Victim;

My disturbing childhood caused all my criminal traits;

Why work when fools will pay me not to;

Being gay is not abnormal, it's only another lifestyle;

It’s ok if your children do not know who their father is;

Having lots of babies means lots of money coming in from the government (taxpayers to the government); and has an added benefit when my thirty year old mother can be named as official foster caregiver and also get paid;

Selling illegal drugs and paying no taxes is a great way to earn a living, and no one is harmed;

Prisons should be a clean, comfortable, fun place to live with lots of good food and free time;

Government employees do not need to live by the rules they set for other citizens;

Creating debt is necessary; others can deal with it later;

Terrorists need to be reasoned with and they will become good people;

Supporting people and countries who hate and deceive us will change their feelings toward us;

Women are not equal to any men and should have no rights;

Children can be traded or sold for any reason to anyone!

Because of limited time and a quick funeral, many members of John Common-Sense’s step family could not be listed; and they are spread out so far and wide, they could all be contacted. Most people meant well; but not very many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone until after the funeral service.